Sunday, July 13, 2014

one year.

one year. one long, emotional, entire year has passed since my life changed forever. since our family changed forever.

our sweet roo was born into the world july 12th, 2013. at only 19 weeks, he no longer had a heartbeat and though we never got to meet him, to hold him close, hear his sweet baby sounds, see his beautiful little eyes, touch his little wrinkled hands or kiss his tiny soft cheeks, we loved him so deeply. we will always love him - the fourth member of our family.

i miss him every day. it feels weird to say that about someone i've never met, but i do. i always think about how old he would be now and what life would be like if he were here to spend it with us. i see babies at the park and am thankful i can now smile thinking of our little roo.

a sweet friend of mine lost her father last year. she shared a quote shortly after roo's passing that has stuck with.

'The reality is that you will grieve forever. You will not ‘get over’ the loss of a loved one; you will learn to live with it. You will heal and you will rebuild yourself around the loss you have suffered. You will be whole again but you will never be the same. Nor should you be the same nor would you want to.'

Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and John Kessler

we will always love you, roo. wild clouds, white moths and peculiarly placed pine cones will always make my heart flutter for a moment while i close my eyes and send a little extra love your way.

rest well my littlest one. xo


3 comments:

  1. What an emotional, and very humbling piece Jessica! Thank you for sharing something so intimate and special to you and your family! I also have had the universe scoop up my lil sprout in the past and have struggled not only physically and mentally, but spiritually too, while absolutely testing my faith a, but with no luck I have to keep my mantra positive and peaceful! It takes a lot of digging and soul searching to come out better and brighter, and you clearly have chosen that path! A path of celebration and hope! If and when you all decide to keep trying, the strength you gained from that experience will be rendered useful and life changing! You have a mighty lucky Finn and a very anxious new roo to cherish and look forward to you! It's a blessed lil life!

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  2. What an emotional, and very humbling piece Jessica! Thank you for sharing something so intimate and special to you and your family! I also have had the universe scoop up my lil sprout in the past and have struggled not only physically and mentally, but spiritually too, while absolutely testing my faith a, but with no luck I have to keep my mantra positive and peaceful! It takes a lot of digging and soul searching to come out better and brighter, and you clearly have chosen that path! A path of celebration and hope! If and when you all decide to keep trying, the strength you gained from that experience will be rendered useful and life changing! You have a mighty lucky Finn and a very anxious new roo to cherish and look forward to you! It's a blessed lil life!

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    Replies
    1. awww lovely, thank you so much for the kindness. im sorry your heart has been broken in a similar way- the more we talk about it, the more you hear of so many women having the same experience. its a tough journey, but i very much appreciate all that i am learning through it. and yes, choosing to be better, love deeper, and become softer because of it is an incredible gift. im happy that's a path we can both journey down. you are an incredible and sweet soul, erika. thank you! xo

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